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Lack of Sexual Desire

When sexual desire is lacking couples find it hard to talk about. Most people dont understand what is happening. Sex therapists diagnose and treat a variety of concerns. Many individuals and couples experience a drop of and a lack of desire in an otherwise good relationship. For women the condition is called “Female Desire Sexual Interest/Arousal disorder”. For men it’s called “Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder”. Often desire is unequal in a sexual relationship. This is where sex therapy can help.


Because human sexual arousal is a complicated process that involves many different mechanisms it’s not always easy to pinpoint one culprit. Many times the “reason” is a combination of factors such as; hormonal imbalance, physiological issues such as endometrioses or scar tissue after giving birth, foreskin that is too tight to name a few.


Many sexual issues have come about because of a yeast infection. Yeast infection is contagious. Both need treatment. Our general health can also play a factor in our sexual response, things like blood pressure, hypothyroidism, diabetes and aging.


Psychological factors tend to be a part of the issue. Anxiety is the polar opposite of sexual arousal. Anxiety causes a sympatric response in the body. The body needs to be in a parasympathetic state in order to become sexually aroused. Depression can dampen desire as well. Stress, a lack of sleep and relationship issues will affect your ability to experience normal sexual arousal.


A good place to start to think about desire for sex is, do you still have sexual fantasies? Do you still (ever) masturbate? Ever have sexual thoughts? Do you experience arousal? Does the thought of having sex with your partner seem like a lot of work? Those are the kind of questions a Sex Therapist will ask you help you find your sexy back!

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Multible orgasms for men?

All people, men and women have the potential for multiple orgasms. We hear more often about women experiencing multiple orgasms. Do you think that because men experience a physical built up of ejaculate, that they can’t experience multiple orgasms?

We are used to thinking about men’s orgasms as having to go occur together with ejaculation . In fact those processes don’t have to go hand in hand, pun intended! Nature has equipped men with a way to experience an orgasm without ejaculating making it possible to have multiple orgasms. This is helpful given that most men only last about 5 to 7 minutes during intercourse. Women on average take about 12 to 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm during intercourse.

In order to orgasm without ejaculation a man needs to practice engaging their pelvic floor muscles before the moment of no return. You must practice a fair amount. First starting with 20 minutes a day, 3 times a day practice exercising the pelvic floor muscles. Those are the same muscles as close the anus. Try holding the muscles tight for up 30 seconds to start with. Then as your control improves try engaging those at the right time. Eventually you will be able to experience an orgasm without ejaculating. This will enable you to maintain an erection and go at it again and again.

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Copying with Herpes

It can be devastating news to be diagnosed with Herpes. You may experience a strong sense of shame and even loose your sex drive for a while. How does one cope with Herpes?.

A viral infection causes Herpes. Most people contract the Herpes virus as children when someone infects them with saliva on the mouth. Herpes can also be spread by sexual contact. The vast majority of people in North America carries the virus without an outbreak. Painful blisters around the genital area or mouth mean an outbreak. The virus can be passed to the eyes and genitals. There is no cure for Herpes.

Research shows carriers are more prone to outbreak during stressful periods and when the skin has been compromised such as by sunburn, chafing or dryness. Outbreaks are more common in people who have a greater tendency to manifest their stress physically. Managing your stress better can limit outbreaks. Yoga, meditation, talking to someone and wearing comfortable clothes can go a long way to limit outbreaks.

It is very important to avoid touching the blister in an outbreak to avoid spreading the virus further. Many people choose to always have antiviral medication on hand. If you become aware a blister is forming and take antiviral medication in time, you can avoid a break out. Abreva cream is also very helpful to have on hand as it shortens the healing period and reduces the swelling in the blisters. Herpes is not a death sentence for your sex life. It does require you to have an honest conversation with your partner and act responsively during an outbreak. Most people with Herpes go on to live normal lives and learn to minimize their risk of outbreaks.

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Want results in the gym?

It’s a known fact that hormone production decrease with age. This causes changes within the body in health, decreased sex drive and reduced muscle production.

Hormone replacement therapy has a poor reputation. This is because the use of illegal steroids and synthetic Testosterone. Did you know that you can purchase bio-identical testosterone legally and safely? Did you know it has no bad side effects (unless you are trying to conceive, it can lower sperm production in high doses)?

Did you know Testosterone lowers anxiety, builds confidence and is very helpful in reversing the effects of erectile disfunction? Did you know it can help you lose weight, build muscle and endurance? Did you know testosterone lowers your cholesterol and improves your cardiovascular health?

Did you know Testosterone is not just for men? Because of gender specific differences in the production of testosterone most women have lost over 60% of their production by the age of 50. Its almost impossible to see results in the gym with that kind of hormonal status, especially following menopause. Hormone therapy can help, have your hormone levels evaluated and see if you are a candidate for hormonal supplements. Hormones have the power to change your life in a way very few other things can.

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Why Circumcision?

In north America most people don’t question circumcision. It is accepted as proper and mainstream procedure and look of a penis. Despite research now showing no necessity for it, medical or otherwise. Where did this custom come from and what was its purpose? Circumcision was implemented during the Victorian era to combat masturbation that was considered sinful and morally wrong. At this time most people have realized masturbation is neither sinful or immoral.  Masturbation is an accepted practice of self stimulation for both genders.

More disturbingly circumcision was performed on infants without any numbing up until the nineteen century.  Infants were thought to not experience pain! The medical profession has defended the practice for decades as a means of avoiding sexually transmitted illnesses and improving cleanliness. These arguments have now been disproved but circumcision is still mainstream.

Before you snip

Think about this, as much as men worry about their penis, the first thing mothers are doing is having the foreskin removed, why? Because mothers have been socialized to think it’s a better look! Please, at the very least, do the research before making this decision for your son, it’s a human right not to be altered without consent.

There is a small but growing awareness that circumcision is really a mid-evil custom. There is an organization called Intact America, become a part of the enlightenment. A man can never been made whole again and many circumcisions are botched. Its not customary in Europe to circumcise and yet European mothers appear to be able to teach their sons appropriate hygiene. There is growing evidence circumcision is not beneficial for intercourse as it forces the need for longer thrust without the foreskin. This ultimately leads to less stimulation of the clitoris and desensitization of the head of the penis.  My question is, what is to be gained then?